A yoni massage isn’t about sex or foreplay. It’s to help a woman gain better understanding of her body and feel all the subtle sensations of her body like never before.

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“yoni” is the ancient Sanskrit term used to describe a woman’s vulva and vagina. It’s translated to sacred space or sacred opening. The original source – the doorway into this world.

A yoni massage is a massage of the vulva and vagina.

Similar to a lingam massage a yoni massage allows a woman to experience healing, release, connection, exquisite pleasure and transcendence.

She experiences different kinds of feelings, stimulations, pleasure and sensations by moving the energy from her yoni throughout the entire body.

The goal is not to bring her to orgasm or have sex.

Instead the intent is to awaken her awareness and all the subtle sensations of her sexuality using breath, sound, and massage.

Scientific studies are now verifying how our psychology and neurology shape our physiology.

The body is an extension of the mind’s thoughts, both conscious and un-conscious, and past memories, stories, tensions and traumas remain stored in the tissues and fascia affecting our current behaviors.

A yoni massage can be an experience of deep pleasure, intimacy and connection.


This is a chance for her to open and release any emotional, physical and psychological blocks such as guilt, anxiety, shame or other limiting beliefs that are holding her back from fully expressing her sexuality.

A yoni massage allows a woman to fully let go and receive pleasure without thinking or needing to reciprocate.

This allows to her to completely relax into pleasure. Before she can fully let go, she needs to feel safe.

Below are 5 Essential Preparation Tools:

1) Mindset

The intention of the massage is to experience deep pleasure, healing, awakening and transformation.

There’s also a strong focus on reserving space for whatever emotions arise during the massage so the emotions can be felt and experienced without fear or judgments.

There are no expectations or goals.

2) Intentions/Communication

In the beginning it’s important to set clear intentions and boundaries.  This allows both partners to fully relax and be in alignment.

Once the massage has begun, it’s best for the woman to communicate with sounds, emotions and movements.

If she’s constantly talking and giving feedback it will make it difficult for her to fully let go and enjoy the complete experience.

3) Clean Hands

The giver has to have clean hands and trimmed finger nails. This might seem obvious, but it’s surprising how many people don’t take care of their hands and fingers.

4) Ambiance/Temperature

The space should create a safe and relaxing environment for sharing.

Cushions, blankets, towels, soft music, soft lights and whatever else you need to ensure you both feel comfortable.

The first time I had a yoni massage I couldn’t relax at all, because the room was too cold and there was no way to heat it up.

Even though the therapist was using hot oil, I couldn’t fully let go, relax, and be in the moment.

When the body feels cold it gets rigid, the body needs warmth to be able to move.

5) Lubrication

Lubrication is a necessity for a Yoni Massage. What’s more important is the choice of lubricant. The yoni is very sensitive, the more natural and pure the lubricant the better it is for her, my personal favorite is coconut oil, but for some women coconut oil causes yeast infections.

Once the space is created now it’s time to slowly initiate the massage.

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Giving An Enjoyable Yoni Massage 

1) Patience

A complete yoni massage can take up to 1-4 hours, depending on depth of the massage.

First, start with a full-body oil massage. There is no touching of her yoni until she’s fully relaxed.

Patience is key for providing her the space to savor the sensations and feelings.

Depending on her emotional and mental state, the massage can be more of a spiritual experience instead of only physical pleasure.

2) Connect With Her

Have her lay on her back with you sitting between her legs, and her legs wrapped around your waist.

For many this is the most comfortable position for the person giving the massage.

You can choose any other position you like, as long as you both feel comfortable.

Put your one hand on her heart center in the middle of her chest, and the palm of your other hand on her yoni.

Allow your hands to go soft and feel her body.

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3) Breath and Sounds

Start with massaging the vulva (the outside area). Ask her to breath and make sounds accordingly.

You can then prepare her by slowly circling the entrance of her yoni with your middle finger and letting her exuberance draw you in.

Remind her to breath as breathing releases tension and increases oxygen to the cells.

4) The Art of Stroking

Because of the sensitivity of the yoni, this type of massage requires variety of touch, intensity, and pressure, which are all welcomed, but keep in mind that it’s not about stroking fast or hard.

For most of the massage you will not be stroking hard or fast, but as her arousal level builds she will need more intensity.

5) Explore Many Spots

The clitoris has roughly 8,000 nerve endings – find her soft spots and tease her to bliss. For most women, her clitoris is the most erroneous and sensitive spot.


The urethra is a tiny little hole where female ejaculation and urine comes out. It’s located between her clitoris and the opening of the vagina.

This is the external stimulation point for the G-Spot. Put gentle pressure with the tip of your finger and start rubbing it.

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The g-spot is located inside the vagina on the upper wall.

As she becomes aroused, you will feel the skin under your fingers changing texture as well as the g-spot becoming engorged.



According to Dr. Chua Chee Ann, the A-spot is located right after the G-spot . With your palm facing up, insert your middle or index finger into her vagina and find her G-spot.

Once you have found her G-spot, go a bit deeper in the same direction towards her cervix. If you feel a little ‘blimp‘ resembling that of a tip of a nose, that’s her cervix, you’ve gone too far.

The A-spot is the smooth area right after the G-spot. Caress the area gently to see if she responds to the sensation.


The perineum is located between the entrance of the vagina and her anus. It’s filled with very sensitive nerve endings and definitely worth exploring.

Variety of Emotions

During a yoni massage a variety of emotions and sensations may surface such as: Sadness, anger, tears, orgasmic energy circulating through her body, numbness in certain parts of her body or she may fall into a deep meditative state.

I’ve experienced all the above emotions in one session and it was so comforting to be with a person who was fully present, reminding me to breath and let go of whatever emotion was coming up.

A yoni massage can be an experience of release, deep pleasure, intimacy, change and connection.

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