Like most men, I’ve spent most of my life believing there was only one type of male orgasm – ejaculation. At the age of 64, I discovered tantra, and a whole new world has opened up. I’ve been doing my practices now for 3 years.
I kept hearing about full body orgasms, multiple orgasms, dry orgasms, male non-ejaculatory orgasms and so on. None of this language made any sense to me other than sparking my curiosity.
So, I set out to learn more and have new experiences. There is no set definition of an orgasm that I could find, but it is much more than I once thought.
While I am certainly no expert, scientist or a researcher – with my partner and some great teachers, I have come to the conclusion that there are different types of experiences that are called orgasms.
The Orgasmic Feeling
The orgasmic feeling doesn’t always involve that pulsing, throbbing, jerking physical experience in my penis that I experienced most of my life.
In fact, when I set out to learn, I mistakenly looked for the same physical response, and discovered there were many others.
I also learned that orgasm and ejaculation were two entirely separate phenomena in men – who knew.
For me they always came together (pun intended).
As I explain these excercises, I strongly suggest anyone interested in learning any of this to do so with an experienced tantra teacher (and they should be an authentic teacher, not a fraud like many are, only interested in making money by taking advantage of horny men and giving them fancy, expensive hand jobs).
My explanations are strictly my own experiences, not meant to be expert advice. The first “new” orgasmic experience I had was taught by a wonderful tantra teacher in New York, who did NOT focus on my genitals at all.
At first I resisted, and told her I could not have an orgasm if my genitals were not stimulated – how wrong was I.
She taught me how to breathe properly – breathing in slowly, filling my belly then chest, holding the breath, and then breathing out slowly.
I learned How To Move The Energy Through My Body By:
- Squeezing and exercising my PC muscles
- Breathing properly through the diaphragm
- Moving the energy up to my chest
- Then “visualizing” the energy was moving up my heart, throat, head and crown (above my head).
I did many yoga exercises and meditations every day – she gave me terrific homework. She also gave me a fantastic, relaxing, non-genital massage, and taught me how to completely relax my entire body.
She had me gently run my fingers over her arms and neck, and she started to shake.
Then, miracle of miracles happened when I was laying in bed one night, alone, and completely relaxed, I thought about our experience with her shaking (which was non-genital and non-sexual, in a direct way).
I started to shake – my shoulders and arm started to spasm. I kept doing it almost every day, and could do it just by thinking of very pleasurable experiences.
That was a full body energy orgasm, and it has improved with time.
The second “new” orgasm – by far my favorite, and even BETTER than an ejaculatory orgasm (is it possible? Yes!) came from learning tantra and semen retention.
This Takes Time
I started with another tantra teacher who explained that it was better for men to have sexual experiences (she recommended starting with masturbation, because this takes new learning) but NOT to ejaculate every time, not even that often.
She started me on something called the 21-day challenge, which has daily encouragement as you learn this new and sometimes tricky maneuver.
I masturbated every day, but did not ejaculate. This challenge takes a lot of self-control and will power.
I felt super horny every day and wanted to ejaculate, but I was determined to do this. I learned to edge by extending my masturbation from ten minutes to 20 to 30, to 40, and gradually getting to 60 minutes.
I learned to work myself close to ejaculation, then breathe deeply, back off, and squeeze my PC muscles to prevent ejaculation.
As I got better at controlling my pulses, it was now time for the ultimate test. I started to have sex with my wife, but without ejaculation.
It took me a while to explain this to my wife and convince her it was okay, and actually a pleasant experience for me.
She had a lot of old school thinking as well to overcome, believing a man ejaculating was the main goal of his sexual function.
Then came the orgasmic experience. At first I did not see it as an orgasm, only as a terrific feeling.
But, as I moved my sexual energy up through my body, my body began to flood with blissful energy in my arms, chest, head and all over.
It’s funny that we men only associate the feel-good chemicals with ejaculation and not the bad ones – feeling tired, depressed, or depleted.
Throughout this process my penis became so much more sensitive, so much more alive, so much more loved. In the old days, masturbating and sex were a race to ejaculation, to feel wonderful for ten seconds then crash.
Now, my penis exists to feel pleasure, to be loved and caressed – what an amazing difference. Finally, I also learned how to have non-ejaculatory, multiple, fully body and genital orgasms.
I had read a great deal about them, tried like crazy, listened to many tantra teachers who told me how – and so many sources said it was easy, it is NOT easy.
The goal was to edge, to get close to that point of no return, do it several times, then push yourself right up into that point but squeeze those PC muscles and breathe.
It took me 3 years to get there.
As it turns out my biggest problem was that I was afraid I might ejaculate and feel that depleted, depressed, tired sensation.
I still do ejaculate about once every 2-3 weeks, but I no longer feel tired or depleted, instead I feel hornier. After so much effort I recently had the most EPIC experience so far during a long masturbation session.
I got too close to ejaculation and I said, “oh no”- and decided to try to stop it anyway. I squeezed my PC Muscles hard, took a long deep breath and stopped touching my penis – then it happened.
My penis, prostate and perineum started to throb like an orgasm, but I did not ejaculate. I felt triumphant, finally, the golden ring.
The key was to overcome that fear of ejaculation, and let myself go. Now, this one is relatively new to me. I am still working to perfect it.
To be honest, at this point, I prefer the blissful state my whole body feels during long sessions when I do not get as close to ejaculating, and there is no penis pulsing.
I recently had sex with my wife and she was giving me a delightful hand job, I decided this time I am going to ejaculate.
I experienced the full body shaking from the full body energy orgasm – this went on for many minutes after my ejaculatory orgasm ended. Wow!
I am 67 years old and most of my life I had a pretty traditional limited idea about sex.
Because of a brain tumor and ED several years ago coupled with the frustration of my wife’s low libido, I set out on this wonderful adventure – tantra.
Learning so many new and pleasurable ways to enjoy sex, love, passion, our bodies, joy, bliss, and openness.
I only wish more people would try, and our society were more open to truly exploring the joys of love, passion, sex and more.
My ‘sexual awakening’ has also led to a new positive attitude, to more creativity in my life, more desire to help others, more need to spread the joy I feel.
It has improved our marriage tremendously. It has made us both more understanding and loving, in addition to the new improved sex.
Every man should feel the joy and happiness I have experienced. It makes life so exciting, pleasurable, worth living and exploring, you are missing out if you are not willing to try it.