There is generally one question men tend to ask in different forms.
How can I become more Confident with women? I have never found a set formula, and I don’t believe there is one.
What I discovered is a method and path that worked for me. Through the process I have found a beautiful, compassionate, compatible and responsive woman to which I am now engaged.
To start I think the best way to gain confidence in any area of your life is to first identify the things which are making you feel insecure.
Once you know the reasons for the lack of confidence, you can start doing things to conquer it. The steps I took were all based on what I could do to become the man I ultimately wanted to be.
The true connection with my now fiancé happened immediately after I became the man who was ready to receive and have her as part of my life.
Here are the steps I took:
I Did Things To Feel Good – I read a lot, to exercise my brain and to become more knowledgeable. I increased my physical activity by exercising, dancing, swimming, running and hiking.
I started meditating to increase my spiritual awareness. I ate healthy to keep my body light, I made new friends and built a new social circle.
I never stopped looking for a challenge and I started facing my fears one by one.
Trusting My Intuition – my gut feelings and my ability to sense others. Sometimes I took risks by following feelings and actions that wasn’t exactly by- the books.
There were times when my intuition was not correct. But, often enough my intuition was correct and I started to believe my own internal self as I grew in personal wisdom.
I grew and learned from my mistakes and the more I learned the more I tuned my intuition to be more accurate.
I Learned How To Forgive Myself – I noticed areas where I was being way too hard on myself with regrets and comparisons that served no useful purpose and were harmful to my psychic and emotional well-being.
I No Longer Seeked Approval From Women – I reflected and came to realize how in my young, impressionable years, I had come to rely on women in an unhealthy way for nurturing and guidance.
And through my reflection many old patterns were resolved. I was able to let go of my approval-seeking tendencies, and my performance anxiety by replacing it with being authentic.
I arrived to a point where I could just relax, experience and enjoy the moment. This made it more pleasurable to interact with the women in my life than that of the needy man I was.
I Learned How To Connect With Women – prior to meeting my fiancé I was completely clueless about women.
In fact I was still learning about a woman’s body, her sexuality, and how to connect with her intimately while we were dating. I had no clue and I am still learning how to do this better.
Choice Of Words – I noticed my words and language patterns also changed how I felt.
If I said things like “I am tired” or “This is too hard”, I felt tired and what I was trying to do was too difficult. All words have different emotional states associated to them.
Being aware of your vocabulary, statements, phrases, and metaphors are crucial to controlling your inner state.
The best way I’ve gained confidence is by not seeking validation and self-worth from anything outside of myself.
My value is whatever I want it to be. It’s not determined by my bank account, my job, the women I dated, or anything else.