There comes a time in our life whether we are single or in a relationship where our body goes into shutdown mode and doesn’t want to respond sexually, sometimes this is called low libido.


While there are many health and non-health related reasons why this can happen, consider all the things we sometimes drag into bed with us.

If thoughts and feelings had physical shapes, you would see some of us going to bed thinking about business related decisions, guilt, shame, a creative project we are working on, baggage belonging to ex-lovers, ghosts from childhood and so much more.

We are consistently distracted by our thoughts, so how can we feel aroused and sexual when we can’t fully relax into our body.

The constant distraction can sometimes cause the body to go into shutdown mode, unable to respond to pleasure and arousal.

For many people the unresponsiveness can also be related to physical imbalances such as nutritional deficiencies, hormone imbalance, physical exhaustion, body issues, etc…

For Men:

Almost all men at some point in their lives experience the awkward situation in which they are unable to get an erection or their erection goes soft during sex.

The occasional inability to have an erection may be caused by what psychologist Bernie Zilbergeld calls the “wisdom of the penis.”

This is when your intelligent penis is trying to tell you that there is something that needs to be addressed in your relationship, your health, or your life.

It may also be a sign that you are distracted or pressured by what’s going on in your work or life.

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For Women:

The lack of desire or unresponsiveness can also stem from a health issue, too many responsibilities, a packed schedule, stress, sadness and the list goes on.

There can be many reasons why our bodies don’t open to pleasure or orgasm.

Here are 6 Ways To Overcome Low Libido 

1) Body Dearmoring

There are many types of dearmoring modalities, but the purpose of this unique method is an intense healing process that loosens the pain from the past held within the body on a cellular level.

This technique incorporates pressure points, strong vibration, breath and the movement of your sexual energy through your whole body to loosen, break up, and remove your body’s armor.

2) Clearing Relationship Resentment

In a course of a relationship we sometimes tend to carry accumulated resentments that can involve small but constant disagreements.

This can easily result in not having any sexual desire for our lover because we have gotten to the point of resenting them and therefore don’t feel sexual desire towards them.

Sexual desire is fragile and if those resentments multiply over time, it can cause big emotional stress if we don’t address it.

3) Relaxation, Sleep, & Nurture

Being burned out and not giving yourself enough time to rest and replenish can leave you with no energy for sex. Men need sleep in order for their body to produce testosterone, no sleep = low testosterone.

Nutritional deficiencies (vitamins and minerals) such as low levels of zinc, bloating, low blood sugar, low thyroid, and feeling irritable is a good recipe for not being “in the mood.” Your irritable mood can rub off on your lover as well.

It’s important to eat foods that make you feel energized, healthy, and clear headed instead of foods that are draining you.

4) Releasing Body Tension

Wilhelm Reich was the first Western scientist to demonstrate that if bodily tensions are released, there will be an improvement in the flow of sensations that he called “streamings.”

Eastern mystics have known this for a long time. The more energy blocks you dissolve the lighter you body feels.

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5) Responding to Illness & Injury

During an illness or injury, the body is using it’s energy to heal itself, leaving less energy for other activities including sex.

When the body is ill or injured we experience pain, which suppresses the libido. For most people injuries and illnesses can be depressing, and depression is a major libido destroyer.

When faced with an illness or injury, how a person approaches the healing can make all the difference.

Some people say things like “I know what I can’t do, but I am going to focus on what I can do.” While others say, “I can no longer have sex, I am done.”

6) Erotic Massages

Pope John Paul II once said, “The hands are the heart’s landscape. Touch affects our entire organism.

It’s ten times stronger than verbal or emotional contact and it affects everything we do.

No other sense can arouse you like touch. Our hands are the most incredible tools of the human body.

It is said that the body is full of wisdom, and when we are out of balance in other parts of our life it can show up physically, emotionally, mentally, and in our energy levels.

Despite maintaining a healthy body and respecting the healing forces of nature, it’s also important to give the body specific tools/treatments that help the process.

Homeopathy, acupuncture, naturopathy, touch and many other natural remedies that nourish and nurture the body’s own wisdom are good first steps to initiate a deeper healing beyond a symptomatic relief.

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Image Credit| Mark Kostabi