I was coaching a 43-year-old woman who said “I think there is something wrong with my libido, I no longer want to have sex with my husband.”

I followed up with “are you sure it’s your libido or is it the type of sex you are having with your husband that you no longer enjoy?”

There was momentary silence. It turns out it wasn’t her libido that was the problem, she had no issues turning herself on and masturbating, it was the type of mundane sex that she was no longer interested in having.

He physically penetrated her, but there was a lack of energetic connection.

She was too afraid to change the dynamics by having a heartfelt conversation, because she was afraid of hurting his feelings. 

The rest of the session we focused on opening to new possibilities of lovemaking and intimacy through playful and deep communication.

Why Is Sexual Communication So Hard?

Discussing intimate aspects of our sexuality requires openness. Opening up about desires, insecurities, or past experiences can be challenging, as it involves exposing one’s innermost self to potential scrutiny, judgement or rejection.

Consequently, choosing to remain silent leads to a gradual accumulation of resentment over time.  

The truth remains, open and honest conversations have the power to liberate and transform relationships. 

Engaging in difficult discussions will absolutely bring up long-suppressed resentments to the surface, serving as the catalyst for change.

Lovemaking at times can be a deeply transformative experience – it can unexpectedly spark past wounds despite our attempts to rationalize them away.

Embracing Deep Conversations Through Thought-Provoking Questions

Initiating conversations that encourage openness and deep connection requires time, patience, and care. Here are a few questions to get you started.

1. What type of sex do you enjoy the most with me? 
   
2. Finish this sentence: I really love it when you … 
   
3. Can you recall some of your favorite memories of our intimate moments throughout our relationship/marriage?
   
4. How has our intimacy evolved and deepened over the course of our relationship?
   
5. Finish the sentence: It really bothers me when you do this during sex….

Injecting Fun and Variety into Your Intimate Life

To refresh your sexual relationship and create an atmosphere of excitement, exploration and intimacy here are a few ideas: 

• Explore slow sex and erotic touch.
  
• Transform your bedroom into pleasurable oasis. 
  
• Farewell to TV and distractions, for play and connection.
  
• Create adventure days like poker sex Fridays for spontaneity.
  
• Take a 30- day break from pornography and vibrators to rediscover the power of intimacy without external stimuli.
  

Sexual Communication: Bridging the Gap and Rediscovering Pleasure

Sharing holds immense power to bridge the divide between partners, enabling deep and honest expressions of desires and needs. 

A sense of humor and a willingness to make it fun and uniquely yours are essential ingredients in any sexual relationship. 

Check Out The Erotic Touch Video Course