A lingam is an ancient tantric term used to describe the penis. In Sanskrit, it’s translated to “Shaft of Light” or “Wand of Light.”
A lingam massage is a massage of the male genitals using a variety of grips and strokes.
A lingam massage allows a man to experience a different kind of pleasure, because the purpose of the massage is not to get him to ejaculate.
Instead, it’s to expand his ability to receive pleasure and feel all of the different levels of sensations in his body.
It’s very common for a man to become highly aroused during this type of massage. The intense sexual pleasure will be felt throughout his entire body, and not just around his genitals.
The challenge many men face during this type of massage is letting go and focusing only on receiving.
To fully experience all the different sensations, feelings and emotions, requires a lot of trust.
Before a man can give up control he needs to feel safe and trust the person who is giving him the massage.
The first step in the process is to create a relaxing, safe and soothing space. Creating the right space is very important because it can make or break the experience.
The space allows him to relax, let go of control, and slip deeply into receiving pleasure.
Here are Three Key elements for creating safe space:
1) Setting Intention
It is essential that both people are fully relaxed and their intentions are aligned.
It’s important for both partners to understand that such a massage is not about getting to the finish line.
Instead, it’s giving men the opportunity to learn how to open up his inner channel, connect with his emotions and feelings at a deeper level allowing for both internal and outward unmasked expressions.
2) Space & Temperature
Creating a relaxed and nurturing space is very important because it allows both people to enter a space where all outside worries are left behind.
Soft lighting and white music will add to the ambience and the space.
If the receiving partner is too cold or hot he won’t be able to relax, go into his body and fully be in the experience.
Setting the right temperature is a key component of creating a relaxing ambiance.
3) Safety & Mindset
For many men this might be the first time he gets touched in such a way.
He may be confused or unsure of how to act or respond.
He may also not have an erection, or the erection may come and go.
This is because for most men the slow approach of a lingam massage can be new and confusing to the mind and the body.
It requires the woman to be understanding and compassionate while he is adjusting and learning to let go.
Once the space is created you can slowly initiate the massage.
It’s always best to start with a full body massage to open and release tense muscles and to get the energy flowing.
Presence and Guidance
Sometimes a woman can get aroused during the process so it’s important for a woman to understand and focus on the intended purpose, which is NOT to bring him to ejaculation.
The goal is to build up his sexual energy without crossing the ejaculation threshold.
In this practice the woman takes the active role while the man takes the passive role.
For a man taking a passive role can be difficult because he wants to reciprocate.
But, he needs to understand that he is only receiving and not giving and the woman needs to emphasize this point throughout the massage.
Use lots of Oil
Using a lot of oil for this practice is essential because your hands need to glide smoothly, freely and without friction.
Start with a gentle feather touch in the beginning. Allow your fingers and hands to slide on his penis without grabbing it.
Gradually you can start adding more pressure.
There are unlimited variations in the way a woman’s hands can be used. Get creative and most importantly let your intuition and his responses guide you.
Remember, a man does not need to have an erection to experience pleasure. Each stroke can have a very different feeling and sensation.
Whatever unfolds can be a powerful and beautiful experience for you and your partner.
This type of massage can be relaxing, stimulating, erotic, liberating and leaving the man with a great sense of emotional, mental, spiritual and physical well-being.