Some women see the penis as a work of art, while others see it as work.



Giving oral pleasure should NEVER be called a Blow Job, because we are not blowing anything and I don’t see it as a job, but for the sake of keeping terms simple we’ll call it a blowjob.

I run a series of workshops on penis pleasuring and often workshop participants tell me they find it intimidating because the mouth and throat are highly sensitive areas, and its not easy to accept the idea of having a penis thrust inside their mouth.

Most of my participants are women – they’re unsure about how everything feels or whether they are doing things correctly.

The first thing to understand is that giving any kind of pleasure should never feel like a job.

It should be a delight.

In fact, the best penis-pleasers and penis-lovers take it to a new level – it’s an intimate art form and an erotic, sensual, primal act that can leave the recipient absolutely blown away. (Pun Intended)

The truth is, there is no one-size-fits-all pleasuring techniques that work on every man.

Every penis is different and has something special to offer.

The key is to keep communicating and being attentive to the person – and penis – in front of you.

That said, here are some of my top “hands-on”, “mouths-on” tips on how to enjoy and master the art of penis pleasuring.

If you want to learn more, check out this Better in Bed podcast episode “Becoming a Penis Genius” I recorded with Christina, the founder of Confident Lovers.

Mindset and Attitude

The best blowjob is an enthusiastic blowjob.

Your attitude is one of the most important components to penis pleasure.

It’s easy to get overly focused on the task at hand, especially with oral sex because you’re licking, sucking, head bobbing etc.

But take a more playful approach, instead of a goal-oriented or task-focused one. Try to show your enjoyment and appreciation as much as possible.

Making eye contact or giving a contented moan while his penis is between your lips can help you stay connected.

Sometimes it nice to take a break, and give your lover a genuine compliment about his penis.

Tell him if it looks good, tastes great, feels amazing in your hands or mouth.

Some men have a lot of insecurities around their genitals and it helps to relax and reassure them to know that you are enjoying the experience.

Embrace The Whole Package

I get it. In the heat of the moment, you just want to head straight for the man’s shaft, grab it and get down to business.

But there are many areas of sensitivity located within the male genital area, so I’d encourage you to discover them all in your penis pleasing journey.

Here is a chart to help you.

How well do you know your penis with Copyright

Get the testicles involved by rolling them around in your hand or putting one of them in your mouth and gently sucking.

Focus your attention on specific pleasure spots on the penis.

For example, the frenulum, which is on the underside of the penis below the head, has such a high concentration of nerve endings, its commonly called the male “trigger spot”.

The perineum, which is the area between the anus and the testicles is often neglected.


Massaging it with your thumbs or even your fist using rapid pulse-like motions can help to stimulate his prostate externally.

The anal area is a hotbed of pleasure for many men.

Caress it externally either with fingers or a tongue to warm it up.

Or go all out and combine a prostate massage together with sucking on the penis to trigger a really intense orgasm.

Variety Is The Spice Of Life

The most common movement used is the “up-down” (with the hand) or “in-out” (with the mouth) movement along the shaft.

But this can get a little boring and repetitive if that’s the only technique you’re using.

Start by playing around with different types of touch.

From tickling and caressing to a firmer touch, like stroking and grabbing.

Try different speeds, as well as different pressure.

And that’s just using your hands, there are many more variations once you add your mouth to the mix.

Penis Pleasure As The Main Event

Don’t necessarily think of the act of penis pleasuring as just foreplay.

Sometimes it can be nice to make it the main event, not just something that leads to sexual intercourse.

Approach and build the tempo of a penis pleasuring session as you would build the tempo to sex – with a tease, foreplay, climax and resolution.

Start with a ‘tease’ by stimulating the areas around the penis. (Hint: inner thighs are usually a great erogenous zone.)

Follow it with ‘foreplay’ by incorporating your bespoke mix of stroking, licking, sucking, and playing with the entire package.

‘Climax’ is pretty self-explanatory, but think about a few creative options for where his ejaculate can end up.

Finally, as a ‘resolution’ to all the excitement, don’t just jump out of bed and run to the shower.

Cup and hold the penis in your hands for some time afterwards, and just feel it revert to its original state – I like to call this a “penis cuddle”!

Cover Art By| Mark Kostabi

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