As a 73-year-old man who was raised as a Christian, but lost touch with spirituality in my 20s, I recently discovered a new and profound spiritual world through tantra and conscious sexuality.
Growing up, I was abused by my alcoholic father and had low self-esteem and shame about my manhood.
This carried over into my adult life, as I constantly sought to please others and prove my worth.
While my sex life was satisfactory, it was driven by a desire to please my partner rather than myself. In my 60s, I found myself in a sexless marriage with a partner who had numerous health issues.
It was then that I stumbled upon tantra and began practicing a new way of experiencing life.
The Transformative Power of Tantra: Overcoming Shame and Guilt”
Through tantra, I was able to overcome the shame and guilt I had previously felt about my genitals, desires, masturbation, and sex itself. I learned to embrace my sexuality and pleasure as a natural human right.
After seven years of learning, I had a meditation session with a tantric guide where I was meditating on nature, life, and love for all creatures while pleasuring myself.
This led to an intense, full-body arousal and a higher level of orgasmic pleasure than I had ever experienced before. The energy filled my entire body and I felt a connection to my penis, nature, the universe, and a love for all life.
This experience transformed my view of myself, replacing low self-esteem and shame with self-love and acceptance.
As I learned to love all parts of myself, my love for my partner, family, and all life grew. I began to believe that we are all connected through love and life, including all living creatures and perhaps even beyond.
While I am aware of the pain and suffering in the world, I choose to focus on hope, happiness, love, positivity, and gratitude.
Life does throw challenges at us—my last year has been as full of them as I could imagine (a granddaughter diagnosed with leukemia and my wife suffering a debilitating stroke, and the deaths of a number of close friends and colleagues), but I embrace that and work to make the best out of each situation and challenge, and do not enter into the blame or ‘why me’ world.
Instead of dwelling on negativity and suffering, I now see life as a gift full of love, hope, and possibility. I express gratitude daily, and embrace pleasure and spirituality daily. I am the luckiest person alive.