In Victorian times, people made love with their clothes on. There was no direct body contact except for their genitals. Today, fewer people wear clothes to bed, but we still manage to confine sex to mostly our genitals.

We have unlimited potential to see and feel, to touch and to smell, but we have forgotten how to do this. Touching awakens the senses. Your wonderful hands aren’t just made for painting, playing an instrument or performing open-heart surgery.

The hands are capable of doing all sorts of things including stroking, caressing, holding and so much more. But how many of us can say we comfortably know how to touch our lover sensually?

Touch is a somatic art of communication. No words are required to communicate, because it’s something you feel.

You can touch deeply or lightly. Touch can be stimulating, calming, affectionate, sensual, or sexual. It can be erotic or non-erotic.


The skin is the largest organ because it’s made of millions of nerve fibers all of which respond exquisitely to touch.

When you touch or caress your lovers body you excite their sensations. Their anxiety melts away, mood improves, troubles go away for that moment. Touch is very important for a woman’s sexual response because every inch of her body can be a sensual playground.

Don’t limit yourself to only exploring her breasts and genitals. Explore her entire body from head to toe.

There are different types of touching:

  • Caressing
  • Stroking
  • Tickling
  • Squeezing
  • Tapping

Touch Requires Mindfulness and Presence.

When touching your lover there are many possibilities and intentions. Are you touching to connect? Do you want to arouse her? Are you relieving a tension in her body? When you are mindful and present, your touch transmits your intentions to your lover.

Recent studies have shown that mindful practice of touch over time changes our prefrontal cortex. This part of our brain is associated with empathy, intuition, controlling our impulses, and many other benefits.

Mindful touch can be very powerful. It has the power to heal and awaken another person. With an open mind and some practice anyone can learn how to give and receive mindful touch. Here are just some of the ways your lover will benefit from your mindful touch:

1) The body relaxes, opens and releases blocked energy.

2) Increases awareness in the body – for some people this can be a healing experience in itself if they have never taken the time to touch their body sensually.

3) Awakens the senses, allowing ecstatic energy to expand and flow.

The entire body has the capacity to be an erogenous, especially the fingertips. In acupuncture, the meridians that carry energy through the body, end in the fingertips, so they are able to relay energy from other parts of your body in a very precise way.

fingertips touching

Touch falls under these main categories:

  • Sensation/Massage
  • Connection
  • therapeutic/healing

When you are touching for sensation, this is a flesh to flesh contact and you ask questions like do you need more pressure, do I need to go faster or slower.

In the sensation massage, repetition of pleasurable strokes allows your lover to deeply relax and sink into a deep state of feeling.

When you are touching for connection, you are not thinking about repetition or pressure. This is when you touch becomes a language. This is when you are sending love to your partner with your caresses.

When you are caressing your lover with your fingertips, the connection is electrical and physical. This is not a massage, but a caring, loving touch.

Allow your fingertips to be the sensory through which you can read your lovers body while discovering and stimulating their most sensual places.

Every time we learn something new, we become something new. Allow your hands to radiate tenderness, love, and warmth.

There is nothing more ecstatic and healing than being deeply touched by your lover. Allow your imagination to create a theater of touch.

Cover Photo By: Ines Honfi