Love can be such a beautiful, harmonious and spiritually opening experience and while in various stages of the relationship, fears you never knew existed can suddenly surface.
Often times we believe sharing our fears and deeper feelings will create distance between us.
What we don’t realize is, deep sharing can be very healing especially if our partner knows how to receive it openly and not as a threat.
It allows us to share any unspoken anxieties that are preventing us from feeling safe and relaxed in each other’s presence.
If we don’t open up and share on a deeper level, unexpressed feelings will keep us restricted, tense, and unable to fully feel open with each other.
Suppressing inner feelings can give power to negative feelings, while sharing in an unguarded environment of sincerity and trust will dissolve its power.
When we open up and fully share with each other we develop a bond of authenticity between us.
Sharing Our Sexual Fantasies
Sometimes fantasies can be the poetry of sex, other times it can stagnate as mental imagination.
On one hand, most of us keep our fantasies to our selves because we don’t’ know how the other person will receive it. We don’t want our fantasies to be misinterpreted as weird or taboo.
On the other hand, sharing our fantasies can bring more intimacy and excitement to the relationship because it’s an indirect way of telling our lover how we would like to be loved.
Communicating our fantasies can be scary at times especially if our partner is not mature enough to listen without judgment.
Talking about our fantasies is usually not part of our daily lives, therefore it requires understanding and sensitivity towards the person who’s opening up and sharing with us.
Sometimes sharing a fantasy can be similar to sharing a thought – saying it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to act it out.
There are times when our lover can feel threatened by our sexual fantasies, worrying, “why does he/she need a fantasy when I am here next to them?” – “ Am I not enough?”
A fantasy can also be a thought that takes us away from the present moment, because we are too busy imagining a scenario and not experiencing our lover.
Most of us at some point have used a sexual scenario or imagery to help us stimulate excitement and maintain interest in the sex act.
What we don’t realize is, it can become habitual if we repeat the same thoughts over and over again.
Instead of enjoying the present moment and feeling our lover’s body against ours, our imagination is driving our body and taking us away into an illusive state.
Fortunately, we have the capability to change our habits and harness the power of imagination.
Instead of getting lost in sexual scenarios and images we can re-direct that energy into our body by stimulating movements of energy from within our body.
Energy flows where attention goes and choosing where to focus is one of the greatest powers we have.
Some people don’t have sexual fantasies, because they are completely involved during sex, they experience bodily sensations so deeply that they become lost in sensations and emotions.
Their mind or imagination is not visually involved.
The point of sharing with our partner is to move beyond any resistance created by our sexual fears and fantasies and to accept everything being in the moment.