Looking back at my life, I’ve had relationships that have been challenging, difficult, disastrous, burdened with drama, anger, despair, suppression, withholds, repression, bad or no communication, hurt, so much pain and more.
There were also many amazing times, beautiful experiences, love, excitement, healing, growth, exploration, intimacy, connection, pleasure and more.
From these experiences two things really stood out for me.
First – We don’t learn how to have successful, fulfilling and lasting relationships.
Second – The relationships were mirrors of myself, aspects of myself. The relationships were more about me, than I wanted to acknowledge at the time.
The relationships were about what I brought to them, who I was, my patterns and conditioning.
Having and being involved in a successful, fulfilling and lasting relationship is an art and a skill. Our education does not include relationships. We’re expected to just get it right.
With the models that we have being our parents and family, movies, religion and the media, with so much being implied and left unsaid. It’s no wonder that we have the results we do.
A ‘successful and fulfilling’ relationship is one that means different things to different people.
One of the most important elements of this is that a relationship is a space for growth – growth for myself, growth for my partner, growth for the space between us, and growth for the relationship.
This is a space that gives us a base for expansion, exploration, reflection and a mirror.
We can create safety here that allows us deep sharing by removing judgment. The judgment that often prevents us from being who we are, and the expectations we put on each other.
As we understand ourselves more, we see where we come from, the patterns of our past. And where we can go from here, how we can create something different, something between us that has a greater possibility.
And this is where it starts linking to the relationship being a reflection of me and the relationship being about me and where I was, what I did, what I brought to the space.
Edited By: Katrina