This week I had a revelation after having one session with my beautiful, intuitive and multi talented friend (You can read about her here).
The revelation came in two parts.
- The power of choice
- The power of internal truth – aligning with my truth.
Since our session I’ve taken some time to reflect on my relationships and life choices thus far.
During my teens and 20’s I made many unskillful choices, lying was a big one, but I didn’t think of myself as a liar.
After all, I only lied when I had to, or when I felt the other person was too emotional to handle the truth.
I had to dig deep and find out where and why did this pattern started?
It started when I was a teenager lying to my parents to wear lipstick at school, or ditching school to go to the movies with my friends, etc…
My parents were very strict with me growing up and, as a result they didn’t create a safe environment where I could tell the truth without major consequences.
Eventually this became a game of – “let me see what else I can get away with.”
I was a curious teenager who wanted nothing more than to have a few hours alone with my friends on the weekends – instead I was constantly told “NO” without any explanation of why I couldn’t have this simple freedom.
My behavior eventually turned rebellious and I had many arguments with my parents.
The more I pondered the more I realized that I really didn’t’ want to lie to my parents, but there was no alternative.
They didn’t know how to create a safe environment to have honest discussions without consequences.
These habits created in my teenage years would then become a subconscious part of my life all throughout my twenties.
These unconscious habits showed up in every aspect of my life, from my friendships to my relationships, to my work life, etc…
Eventually, I recognized these as negative patterns and consciously worked on making major changes.
My new self-discovery is that dishonesty has no part in my life and doesn’t serve me in any way. My first realization came when I spend a month in India.
This was a major shift in my life.
This is also when I was introduced to Meditation, Ayurveda and the Dharma code.
In this article I am only going to cover the first principle of the Dharma code (truth).
Thousands of years ago, the sages of ancient India formulated the Dharma code, which is a powerful system for making enlightened choices in everyday life.
In more simple terms, the Dharma code includes four principles that manifest excellence through “right action”- action that leads to optimal outcomes.
The four principles are:
Truth, the first Dharma principle, is about honoring ourselves and never pretending to be someone else.
It is about abandoning our façades and masks.
When we lie to ourselves, we live against our truth. This brings, chaos, instability, weakness and physical illness into our life.
In my own life, I’ve gone against my truth several times, and each time I’ve gotten physically and emotionally ill.
While I have learned from these experiences, they always led me into a hard but pointless struggle.
Why is Truth so potent?
Because Truth doesn’t need to be sustained – it sustains itself.
Of course we can choose to ignore reality, but we can never ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.
The I Ching confirms this wisdom:
“It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are, without any sort of self-deception or illusion, that a light will develop out of events, by which the path to success may be recognized.”
Our perception is not always reality “in fact” we tell ourselves really good stories to disguise what our heart is yearning for.
Krishnamurti has a fascinating quote about recognizing reality.
“Suffering is merely that high, intense clarity of thought and emotion which forces you to recognize things as they are.”
The primary nature of every human being is to be open to life and love. Being guarded and distrustful has become second nature in our culture.
Truth always begins with oneself. When we live in accordance with our truth, our life is no longer a struggle.
Like a butterfly spreading her wings for the first time, she doesn’t struggle even though she has no idea whether or not she can fly.
She simply opens her wings in absolute confidence, which lifts her effortlessly into a graceful flight.
Applying Truth in My Own Life:
I use to be a flight attendant on private jets. I love to travel, and what a better way to sustain my passion for travel.
After 5 years I started getting anxiety and my right arm went completely numb on a flight, it became very clear that this is not what I was born to do.
My work today is in alignment with my truth.
I also ended a 9-year affair. I started this affair when I was 23, and in the beginning it had many attractions, but as I grew older and wiser it no longer passed the ‘truth test’ for me.
What happens when we are not truthful to ourselves? We end up inflicting pain on our self.
Steve Jobs said it best:
Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.
Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.
You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”